Sunday, 27 July 2008
Am I right to keep holding on to it when all that will come out of it is heartbreak? Is that selfish of me?
Am I wrong to ask you to keep your distance from other girls, to just limit it to project work and no teasing around?
Sometimes I feel as if I'm kept in the dark and I'm not important to you. You know almost 95% of my friends and is able to check with them if I do anything wrong but I barely know like 30% of yours. Many times I don't even know what you're doing be it in school or outside.
This feeling of insecurity will never go away although things are better now than in the evening. And the expectation that I have of you will never change. I can't control the way I feel. I don't have friends like yours who will head out for drinks or something when any of you are troubled even at such a late time. Friends who will meet up when you tell them 10 mins before.
I have friends no doubt. But they're not as free as your friends. At most I can call them up to talk about it and like plan to meet up the next week. I don't have a comfort buddy who will be there for you physically at the time I'm feeling down. Maybe the only thing that can qualify would be my soft toy.
I'm getting tired of these problems.
Lord, give me strength to overcome any obstacles that come my way.
CHANTAL.